Like bad cell phone reception, relationships can have moments when there is a disconnection between the sender and the receiver. No matter how many times you repeat yourself or how loudly you speak, you just can’t get through to the person on the other end of the line. How often have you felt misunderstood even when you thought you were clearly expressing yourself? This taps into one of the key elements of attachment: responsiveness. When your partner is responsive, you feel seen, heard, and understood. The other person “gets” you even if they do not like or agree with your point of view. This skill relies on empathy -- the ability to put yourself into another person’s shoes and see the world through his or her eyes. Responsiveness, along with access to your partner (a second key element), creates a feeling of safety and security in a relationship. That is ... Read More »
Planning a wedding can be one of the most stressful time periods in your life. Don’t be fooled by the fact that you’re happy to be getting married. Positive stressful events can be just as distressing as negative ones Planning a wedding can be one of the most stressful time periods in your life. Don’t be fooled by the fact that you’re happy to be getting married. Positive stressful events can be just as distressing as negative ones. In fact marriage was listed as the 7th most stressful major life event in one study (death of a spouse and divorce ranked 1st and 2nd on the list, while pregnancy ranked 12th highest).When you are planning a wedding, it often seems that many of the little details and decisions cannot be taken care of until the last few days before the big day. One of the things I found most overwhelming ... Read More »
A happy marriage doesn’t happen by dumb luck. It requires being intentional -- setting a goal and striving to attain it. In my work as a clinical psychologist and as a yoga practitioner/teacher, I have seen the power of setting intentions as a means to a happier and healthier existence, both mentally and physically. Being intentional not only helps with inner harmony, but it also allows us to get along better with others. Marriage is one of the best training grounds and places to use these tools, since your relationship with your spouse will likely challenge you more than any other in your life. Being intentional has its roots in mind-body science, and more and more research is being done to empirically demonstrate “the power of positive thinking.” Here are just some of the basic underlying principles of mind- body connections that I know to be true and important: • ... Read More »
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