The Pros and Cons of Choosing Your Own Engagement Ring

Is this the right method for you and your significant other?

While there is a certain romance to the idea of a proposal that is a complete surprise, the reality is that is not often the case anymore. The actual moment of popping the question may be unexpected, but the vast majority of couples spend time discussing the next step of their relationship so that both people are on the same page when one gets on bended knee. In addition to sharing thoughts on a timeline for getting engaged, some sweethearts may share opinions of what style of ring will be involved – if any. Shopping for the milestone sparkler together is an increasingly popular choice among lovebirds, but there are both benefits and drawbacks to this method.

Pros and Cons of Choosing Your Own Engagement Ring, shopping for engagement rings together
Photo by D2 Photography; Planning & Design by Andrea Eppolito Events

Read below to find out if choosing your own engagement ring is the right choice for you. 


- Guaranteed to like the ring. When you have already picked out and tried on your dream ring, there is no risk of wanting to say yes to the proposal but no to the ring. 

- You can bond while shopping. Window-shopping at jewelry stores and even browsing your Pinterest board together will help make this next stage feel real. 

- Sets the tone for the planning process. The engagement is the first step before wedding planning, so when couples work together from the start, it’s more likely that they’ll continue being a team as they prepare for the big day. 


Won’t be a surprise. The most obvious downside to picking out your own engagement ring is that it takes away some of the mystery from the occasion. 

The wait factor. You and your beloved pick out a ring that you both love. And then months pass. Waiting for a proposal you know is supposed to come might make you anxious, or even resentful.

Dealing with the budget. While it’s important that committed couples are open about their finances, that often does not apply to gifts. You might not know the exact cost of your engagement ring, but while shopping together you’ll likely at least have an idea of the budget, which for some people can be awkward or uncomfortable.

If you decide to go a different route, get tips on resizing your ring and find out what you need to know about heirloom engagement rings

Authored by: Emily Lasnier