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Being Engaged at the Same Time as a Close Friend

How to handle your engagement period when your BFF is planning her own nuptials.

Discover some tips for handling a friend’s engagement that happens around the same time as your own.

Relationship Advice
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Photo: Tessa Maxine

When you’re engaged, sometimes, it seems like you’re in your own little wedding-planning world. Even when things aren’t particularly romantic – when you’re going over your budget, booking transportation, or discussing a prenup – a lot of your personal time is being dedicated to this celebration of your own love and commitment.

Of course, that world can be altered upon the simultaneous engagement of a close friend. This doesn’t mean that anything will be taken away from your own wedding, though it’s easy to forget that notion. Here are some tips for handling a friend’s engagement around the same time as your own.

-  Keep this mantra in mind: this is not a competition. We know, we know: you can tell yourself that over and over and still not totally believe it. But remember, your wedding is one day out of your life. A close friendship should take precedent over making your nuptials better than anyone else’s. It’s not worth breaking up a relationship – much like Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway’s characters in the movie Bride Wars discovered the hard way. Even if you have similar concepts or motifs, your wedding is unique, as is hers. If you start feeling as though you’re getting into a pattern of one-upmanship, take a break from sharing details with one another and focus on your friendship.

-  Get ready to compromise – but not too much. If you share many of the same friends – and sometimes, family members – it makes sense to have a conversation about potential dates. While it isn’t pertinent you get married in completely different seasons or even years, it’s nice to know where your friend is at in the process of booking a venue – and therefore, a set day. Some date-fudging for the purpose of guest travel and a healthy dose of space between both weddings is fine, but don’t change up your entire plan (or expect her to) in order to please the other bride. This concept goes for motifs and vendors as well.

-  Use one another as support. In all honesty, you’re very lucky to have someone who’s sharing in this process with you – besides your beloved, of course! It’s nice to have another person to bounce ideas off of and complain to – especially if they’re complaining about similar things. Who better to trust for a vendor recommendation than a close friend on the phone with you coming back from a meeting with them? While you don’t have to share in every aspect of your respective processes, her mere presence should come as a comfort during some of the more stressful moments.

Learn how to handle getting married the same year as your sibling, and for more wedding inspiration, be sure to “like” Inside Weddings on Facebook and follow us on Instagram and Pinterest!

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