Though it may not be talked about much, post-wedding depression, or "bridal blues," is very common and nothing to be embarrassed about. The good news is that it’s not as serious as something like postpartum depression. That isn’t to say that a postnuptial letdown isn’t understandable. You spend several months to over a year planning for a grand event that is supposed to be the best day of your life, and then it's just over. Of course you now get to enjoy a lifetime with your new spouse, but it can be hard to feel as if you have anything to look forward to – especially if you also are not planning on having children for a few years, if at all. Whether you’re already a newlywed who is feeling blue or you’re newly engaged and hoping to combat post-wedding depression before it can begin, the below advice will help you shake off the sadness and focus on your joyful married life.
Consider having a couple of days to decompress after the special day before jetting off to your honeymoon. You can enjoy a nice brunch with friends and family from out of town, while keeping the end of the celebration from feeling so abrupt. Similarly, a few days at home as newlyweds before returning to work will ease the return to the real world, after spending a year plus in wedding land. For brides or grooms who enjoyed being the center of attention during their engagement, the lack of interest after a few polite questions about the celebration and honeymoon can be a shock to the system.
While planning your nuptials, there are likely going to be quite a few things you feel too busy to do: places to go, movies to see, books to read, hikes to take, etc. Make note of them! After the big day, you'll have plenty to put on your schedule to fill the void that planning might leave. Now is also the time to find a new, fulfilling hobby. You may also want to consider having a designated day of the week where you and your partner don’t talk about the wedding – it can help maintain the normalcy in your relationship and help you remember why you’re getting married in the first place!
Be sure to talk to your partner about how you’re feeling. You may be concerned about offending him or her – that your life together isn't what you imagined – but men and women both experience post-wedding depression and you may find that you can help each other through it. Plus, if you’ve been moping around your new home after the honeymoon, your sweetheart may already be worrying that your mood is due to married life, not missing the planning process. Or if your spouse is the more optimistic one, conversing about your emotions may be enough to flip your perspective. Focusing on dates and new experiences together can also lessen the bridal blues.
While changing your perspective can be difficult, try reciting a mantra every day to remind yourself that your newlywed life is the start of something, not the end. Don’t forget – now you get to have an anniversary to celebrate every year!