How to Make Your Kids Feel Included at the Wedding

Get wedding ideas for blended families.

Helping the young ones feel that they are an important part of the big day can help leading up to the wedding.

Photo: Laurie Bailey Photography

Whether you and your future spouse had children together before tying the knot, or one of you is about to embrace the role of stepparent, your wedding is really about coming together as a family. As important as the love for your partner is, parents will understand that once kids are in the picture, they trump just about everything else. Children are usually excited when their biological parents get married, but future blended families may be hesitant about the occasion. No matter the situation, helping the young ones feel that they are an important part of the big day can help leading up to the wedding, as well as your lives together afterward. 

how to include your children or future stepchildren in your wedding
Photo by Inije Photography; Planning & Design by By BrianGreen

Perhaps the most obvious way to go about this is to have the children be in the bridal party. Depending on the ages, they can be a flower girl, ring bearer, junior or regular bridesmaid, groomsman, maid of honor, or best man. While we normally love to see mixed-gender bridal parties, there is also something very sweet about seeing a groom ask his future stepson to stand beside him. Children escorting their parents down the aisle also will often bring a tear to the eyes of guests. Alluding to them in the ceremony is also a lovely touch that highlights the familial aspect of the day.

Though there are probably components of the big day where you don’t want to compromise your vision, consider asking the opinion of the kids on things that are a lower priority. Naturally, the cake is something children can be passionate about – bring them to a tasting! 

If there aren’t a lot of cousins or other kids for your children to hang out with during the celebration, think about letting them have their own plus one. Sure, unless they are teenagers they won’t exactly have a date in mind, but allowing your child’s best pal to attend will give them someone to play with and keep them from being bored at an adults-only affair. Kids tables with fun activities will lead to treasured memories instead of resentment. If your venue has a separate space or alcove, this also allows you to entertain the children without having to sacrifice your dream reception. 

Read how to tell the kids about your engagement, discover how to entertain kids at your wedding, and learn how to fit in with your in-laws.