Wedding-Guest Tips for the Recently Engaged

Some dos and don'ts on how to behave at your friends' nuptials.

Here are some tips about what to do at the first wedding you and your beloved attend as an engaged couple.

By Emily Lasnier

sepia-toned-photo-of-bridesmaids-and-couple
Photo: Mitch Burmeister & Scott Preston

If you and your beloved get married at an age that is average among your friend group, you have probably already gone to several nuptials and will have a few celebrations to attend during your own engagement period. For some, the privilege to go to a loved one's wedding while you are planning your own is a wonderful way to extend the celebration of love. Yet for others, it is simply more stress or even a distraction as you try to prepare for your own big day. Shy brides-to-be may feel self-conscious about attending someone’s wedding while engaged, worried that they will steal focus or people will pepper them with questions about their own proposal and wedding.

your first wedding as an engaged couple

Photo by Chard Photo; Floral Design by Flowers by Cina

Here are some tips about what to do at the first wedding you and your beloved attend as an engaged couple:

- Don’t bring up your upcoming nuptials. If someone asks you about your plans, it’s okay to share some basics such as the date and location, but don’t let it dominate the conversation. 

- Take mental notes. Love their grand exit? Not so fond of the music selection? Now that you’re engaged yourself, you are likely viewing weddings in a different light. It’s perfectly okay to realize what you like and don’t like from someone’s big day, and utilize that information when planning your own. Just be sure to not completely copy the entire aesthetic – especially if there is a lot of overlap on your respective guest lists. 

- Don’t verbalize your comparisons. Maybe you think the bouquet and garter tosses are passé and you definitely won’t do that at your own wedding, but do not say this out loud to anyone. Let people have a good time and don’t be negative about someone else’s celebration. You and your future spouse can exchange thoughts on the way home. 

For more tips and advice, find out what not to wear as a guest, and read a guide to surviving a luxury wedding. 

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