What Not to Do After Getting Engaged

After getting engaged, you are probably flooded with advice of what you should do next. Try not to rush into any major decisions.

Here’s what to avoid if you don’t want to start wedding planning off on the wrong foot.

real wedding photo at palm springs pond estate bride in monique lhuillier wedding dress long hair headpiece groom in white suit jacket
Photo: Steve Steinhardt

After getting engaged, you are probably flooded with advice of what you should do next. Call your parents and your best friend, take cute pictures to post on social media, get a manicure… the list goes on. However, there are also plenty of things you don’t want to do right after you get engaged. Not just little things immediately after, such as sharing the news online before telling your family, but in regards to decisions made in the first few weeks ahead. Here’s what to avoid if you don’t want to start wedding planning off on the wrong foot: 

- Don’t pick a date without consulting your VIPs. Getting a 100% attendance rate from your guests is virtually impossible, but you’ll want to make sure your immediate family and closest friends don’t have a major conflict. 

- Don’t share details until you have an idea about the guest list. Maybe you always assumed you’d invite your whole department at work… until you realized just how many people that adds to your already ballooning guest list. 

- Don’t assume your parents can pay for it. Some are happy to contribute, but it may not be financially feasible for everyone. There’s also a chance the amount of money offered is less than you might have hoped. 

- Don’t start planning before finding out what your partner wants. You may have been dreaming about this day since you were a child, but it’s not only your dream anymore. 

- Don’t buy your dress right away. This may be the part you’re most excited for, but there are a lot of factors to consider. For example, you want to make sure the gown is appropriate to the season, as well as for the venue. Depending on the length of your engagement, you may also see new styles that you end up liking better than the one you picked in a hurry. That said, if you find “the one” and there’s an amazing sale… well, some rules are made to be broken. 

For more tips, get a wedding planner's advice on what to do once you're engaged, learn how to plan a wedding with a short engagement, and find out what to do if you're sick of planning