Help them enjoy being a part of your big day.
Your bridesmaids are among the most important women in your life, so even though the honor of standing beside you on your wedding day may seem like it’s about them helping you prepare for the event, you also want to keep them comfortable and happy. We’ve all heard stories about “bridezillas” ruining lifelong friendships due to unreasonable demands, and you certainly don’t want that to happen to you. While there is a difference between being accommodating and bending over backwards for people, there are several things you can do or provide for your bridesmaids to make sure they don’t regret saying yes to the role.
Photo by Samuel Lippke Studios; Planning & Design by Geller Events
- Respect their opinions. It’s okay to have your own vision, but if one or more of your bridesmaids have strong thoughts on a certain dress style or color, it’s worth keeping that in mind to make sure they feel comfortable and confident.
- Accessories. You may choose to allow your bridesmaids to choose their own jewelry or accessories, but if you choose to gift them, try to find something that fits your vision as well as their style. For example, if your sister never changes her earrings, she might not feel comfortable in large chandelier or hoop earrings.
- Hair and makeup. It’s always a nice thing to provide professional hairstylists and makeup artists for the getting-ready process, but if you aren’t able it’s best not to dictate the look outside of rough guidelines.
- Thoughtful gifts. It’s expected to offer a thank-you gift to those in your bridal party, and it’s always more appreciated if it’s something they can use beyond the wedding day.
- Comfortable shoes. Assuming you want your girls to be dancing with you all night, letting them wear shoes they can move in will be appreciated. If heels are best for your ceremony, you can always provide sandals or flats for the reception.
- Non-wedding hangout time. The planning process can be long and draining – on you as well as your loved ones. Don’t make your bridesmaids feel abandoned and like their lives have to revolve around your big day; carve out time to spend together like you did before you were engaged.
- Refreshments before the ceremony. Your big day is a long experience for everyone, with many hours before dinner at the reception. Provide snacks and beverages while getting ready so your gal pals aren’t hungry and cranky.
- A plus one. Whether or not she has a significant other, being able to bring a guest will help your bridesmaids feel more comfortable and have more fun during your reception.
- Be accommodating. Of course it’s disappointing if not all of your bridesmaids can make it to your bridal shower or bachelorette party, but remember that everyone has different obligations in life and try not to take it personally.
For more advice, learn what you shouldn't share on social media when you're engaged and read your guide to hosting a black-tie wedding.