Be sure to have these conversations with your future spouse!
After the proposal and sharing the happy news of your engagement, you may want to dive directly into wedding planning. However, that may not be the best idea. Not only is it nice to just enjoy this new stage of your relationship before you begin the stress of the planning process, but it is also important to make sure you and your future spouse are on the same page with the plans. As much as we may try to fight against gender stereotypes, the fact remains that in opposite-sex couples, the bride is more likely to assume responsibility for organizing the big day. As a result, she might start going into her dream day without consulting the groom. No matter your relationship dynamic, it’s important that everyone’s feelings are taken into account so no one is resentful of a wedding that isn’t what they hoped to have. Here are some topics that every couple should discuss before planning begins:
- Budget. One or both sets of parents may be able to contribute, but first you two should see what you are personally willing to contribute.
- Tradition. There may be family or cultural customs you want to include, but even just standard traditions are worth discussing. Maybe you like the convenience of the “first look” while he’s had his heart set on first seeing you as you walk down the aisle. It will help the planning process if you know these things early on.
- Size. Some people love the idea of a big family wedding, while others have only ever dreamed of eloping. It’s important to not make assumptions, or halfway through one of you will realize you’re planning a celebration you don’t even want.
- Vision. People often assume that grooms don’t have any thoughts on how their wedding will look – and sometimes that really is true – but you might be surprised!
- Priorities. No matter what, you’ll both have to make some compromises. Knowing which aspects of the event are most important to each of you will help make decisions when your opinions differ.