It’s often said that weddings bring out the worst in people, and this is most seen in the relationship between brides and bridesmaids. While there are certainly plenty of stories about bridesmaids behaving badly, there’s no shortage of brides being inconsiderate to women meant to be closest to them – usually due to the rhetoric of it being “the bride’s day.” If you’ve noticed there seems to be some tension between you and your bridesmaids, or you simply want to make sure you are all still friends after the wedding, the below examples of what not to do may explain why you’ve been getting some passive aggressive comments.
- Requiring them to go to every fitting, hair and makeup trial, or even vendor appointment. A couple of outings are fine, but the most important thing to stress clearly is that they are optional.
- Subtly or outright telling any or all of the bridesmaids that they need to change something about their appearance, such as suggesting a diet or disapproving of a hairstyle change.
- Not being considerate of everyone’s financial situation by choosing an expensive ($250+) dress or demanding frequent travel. Even if you know one of your friends makes good money, remember their priorities are probably different than yours. She may be saving for a house – or her own wedding!
- Talking about nothing but the wedding, and either forgetting to ask about their lives or viewing their problems through the lens of how it will affect your big day.
- Choosing a dress without consulting anyone or keeping in mind their different body shapes or skin tones.
- Not providing any opinion on the bridesmaid dresses, meaning none of the ladies has any idea where to start.
- Asking everyone to get their hair and makeup done professionally, but not footing the bill yourself.
- Assigning so many tasks at the wedding that none of your bridesmaids get to enjoy the reception.
- Giving a cheap gift that only has use at the wedding when they have all spent over $1,000 on your day.
- Not providing a plus one. While you can cut plus ones, within reason, for your regular guests, it will make your single bridesmaids more comfortable if they are allowed to bring someone and is a great way to show your appreciation after all of their hard work.
Opening photo by Carrie Rodman Photography