5 Polite Responses to Rude Questions About Your Engagement Ring

Keep your cool when people refuse to mind their own business.

5 Polite Responses to Rude Questions About Your Engagement Ring

Photo: Laurie Bailey Photography

how to respond to rude questions about your engagement ring

Considering how much they are desired, engagement rings receive a lot of scrutiny. To outsiders, they seem to either be too big, too small, too flashy, too boring, too traditional, too unique. Sometimes it really seems like you can’t win in the court of public opinion. Of course, you know all that really matters is that you love your ring, but it’s understandable if unnecessary comments get you down.

The trick is having a pre-planned response in mind. While it is certainly tempting to strike back with a passive-aggressive comment or snarky takedown, you will likely face etiquette breaches throughout your engagement. As such, it may be best to take the high road with a polite answer. Below are some of the most common gauche questions you may hear about your engagement ring, paired with our suggestions for how to respond. 

How much did it cost?
Even if you have a rough idea of the budget, this is the time to feign ignorance. “Oh, my fiancé didn’t tell me and I haven’t asked.” Perhaps they will realize they shouldn’t have either. 

How many carats is it? What are the specs?
If this is a friend who may be on track to get engaged or propose soon themselves, they might not have meant to be nosey, but are rather trying to do some research for when they get their own ring. You can be truthful if you trust their intentions, or simply claim you do not know if you would rather not share that information. 

Are you going to upgrade it later?
Trading up engagement rings has become rather common, but that doesn’t mean you’re planning to do so out the gate. “Why would I want to do that? I’m rather attached to this one.” Your ring represents your love; it's completely reasonable to want to keep it forever!

Is that really an engagement ring? (Usually asked if you have a colorful gemstone, or no center stone at all.) 
Time to plaster on that fake smile and charm: “It sure is! I’m so glad my fiancé respected my wish for something unique.”

Is that real?
Keep it simple: “Yes.”

Read our tips on how to hint to your fiancé what engagement ring you want, see 21 gorgeous new ring designs, and discover five diamond specs besides the famous 4 Cs.

Opening photo by Laurie Bailey Photography