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Can You Invite Your Ex to Your Wedding?

All the points you need to address before extending an invitation to a former significant other.

Can You Invite Your Ex to Your Wedding?

Relationship Advice
can-you-invite-ex-boyfriend-girlfriend-to-wedding-former-lover-is-it-ok-to-send-an-invitation
Photo: Gabe Aceves Photography

It’s time to sit down with your spouse-to-be and outline your guest list! You may or may not view this as a fun task, but either way, it’s an incredibly important part of the wedding planning process. While going through all potential invitees, there’s no question that quite a few names might be thrown around – so, what happens when one of those names happens to be that of an ex-partner? It’s not entirely uncommon in modern times that this problem arises, so we’ve broken down the process so you can make the decision a little easier.

Don’t Invite If…

-   Your partner says “no.” Your beloved holds the trump card when it comes to this issue. If the subject is broached and your sweetie doesn’t feel comfortable with the idea, then that should be the final decision. Even if you and your ex are on good terms, they should be able to understand where your partner is coming from and respect their wishes. It isn’t a battle worth fighting during the planning process. 

-   You were in a serious relationship with them within the last 5 years. “Serious” can have many different meanings, depending on the person – only you know upon which level your former relationship ended. Be it that you were living together, engaged, married, etc., if you considered yourself seriously involved, it’s a better idea to forgo an invite. This time period could even extend further – be honest with yourself and your sweetheart when it comes to defining this bygone relationship. 

-   They’ve expressed a desire to get back together during your current relationship. If this particular person has reached out to you while you were dating or engaged to your beloved to communicate a wish to spend time together or give your relationship another try, the feelings are too fresh. If your ex is still in your life for one reason or another – family friend, friend of a friend, etc. – and they’ve made their attraction for you clear in recent history, you may just be inviting a dramatic situation. It would be better for everyone involved if they did not receive an invitation.

It’s Probably Okay to Invite If…

-   You’re currently close friends. If you consider yourself to be friends first, exes second, and it’s been a long time since you were together, it makes more sense to extend the invite. Additionally, if they are part of your inner circle, and therefore, close to your partner as well, any emotionality between the two of you is likely long gone. This, of course, is especially true if they themselves are in a serious relationship of some kind. 

-   You were never serious. Maybe you never officially dated – there was once some potential, but it died out before it could get anywhere. You’ve remained in contact – perhaps they’re dating a friend of yours or they are close with one of your siblings – and many years have gone by. In this case, if you feel like they are someone you should invite, by all means!

Find out how to tell someone that they aren't invited to the wedding, discover ways to handle divorced parents during your nuptials, and read through five steps to ensuring quality time with your spouse on your special day.

Opening photo by Victoria Angela Photography

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