How to Build a Relationship with Your Future Sibling-in-Law

Getting to know your future brother- or sister-in-law is an important task.

How to Build a Relationship with Your Future Sibling-in-Law

Relationship Advice
Photo: Justine Ungaro

There is often stress when it comes with dealing with your future in-laws once you become engaged, usually due to balancing their expectations and planning the wedding you actually want. However, it’s not just the parents you have to adapt to, but also the siblings of your beloved. Depending on the closeness of the family, you may face some territorial jealousy as you become a constant presence. If your personalities just don’t mesh, it’s unlikely you’ll ever become best friends, and that’s okay. That said, it is best if you can build a comfortable relationship, as you’ll be spending holidays and family gatherings together for the rest of your lives. It’s up to you to put in the effort, and it will most likely take multiple attempts to fully establish a friendship.

Below are our tips on how to bond with your future sibling-in-law so that everything goes smoothly. 

how to bond with your sister-in-law, get to know your brother-in-law
Photo by Justine Ungaro; Planning & Design by SoCo Events 

- If you live nearby, schedule hangout times, whether it’s dinner, drinks, or even an appointment to get mani/pedis.
- If you live far away, add them on social media and make conversation about things you have in common, such as a favorite TV show they posted a status about.
- It’s okay not to include them in the bridal party if it doesn’t feel right to you, but be sure to invite them to pre-wedding events when appropriate. However, as long as there are no extenuating circumstances and you think it would mean a lot to them, we do recommend having all siblings in the bridal party.
- Give gifts for their birthdays, rather than simply signing your name on the card your future spouse purchased.
- Go on double (or triple, etc. depending on how many siblings your beloved has!) dates together. Making their significant other feel included will go a long way.
- Respect that your sweetheart and their siblings have had a relationship long before you came into the picture. As much as you may become the most important person to your future spouse, the sibling relationship still matters.
- Talk about more than just your future spouse and their sibling – get to know each other as individuals.
- Don’t reach out when it comes to relationship troubles – things can get messy fast.
- Work together to plan a family event to show you care about being a part of their clan now.

For more tips, learn how to help your future mother-in-law feel included and how to tell your kids about your engagement

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