How to Handle Your Bridesmaid Getting Engaged

Now you both have something to celebrate – each other!

How to Handle Your Bridesmaid Getting Engaged

Photo: Jose Villa Photography

when your bridesmaid is engaged at the same time as you

Being engaged at the same time as a friend can be a wonderful thing. No one has ever complained about having too many people to relate to who understand each other. But we admit it's a little different if a month after you pick your bridal party, one of your bridesmaids announces her own engagement. You are happy for her, of course, but there's a part of your brain that can't help but wonder how this will affect your own special day. We understand that this can be a delicate situation, and are here to advise you on how to keep tension low during your mutual planning process. 

First off, do not assume that you'll be asked to be a bridesmaid simply because she is one of yours. There's a good chance of it, of course, but there's also the possibility that she and her sweetheart will decide on a smaller wedding party. She also may be facing outside pressure to pick family. A bride with four sisters has a lot less freedom to pick close friends to stand beside her than a bride with only a brother. However, she will be more willing to talk about your impending nuptials and the difficulty of planning than those bridesmaids who have been married for years, are single, or who have been waiting patiently for a proposal. That said, you should not talk about your own celebrations when at events in your friend's honor, such as the engagement party, bridal shower, or bachelorette party. You also should avoid bringing up budgets, and be especially cautious if she has a much tighter spending limit than you do. 

The two of you should communicate about your respective wedding dates, but try not to freak out if her nuptials end up being held within a month of yours. The one possible exception is that you do want to make sure your honeymoons don't conflict with each other's special day. Though it's understandable to be a little put off if you were engaged first and she ends up tying the knot before you, do not let it affect your relationship. It's important to take time for each other to just enjoy being friends, rather than brides. However, it can also be a fun bonding experience to collaborate on vendor searches and DIY projects. Just be sure to be open and honest if you have similar taste so neither of you feel the other is “stealing” an idea. As with any relationship, compromise is important among friends – even when weddings are involved!

Opening photo by Jose Villa Photography; Consulting by Mindy Weiss Party Consultants; Floral Design by HMR Designs