how-to-deal-with-wedding-date-conflicts-for-your-ceremony-and-other-guest-commitments

Wedding Date Conflicts: When to Keep It & When to Move It

Another event scheduled for your big day? Find out if it's worth switching your plans or not.

Wedding Date Conflicts: When to Keep It & When to Move It

Etiquette
how-to-deal-with-wedding-date-conflicts-for-your-ceremony-and-other-guest-commitments
Photo: Vue Photography

There are only 365 – or 366 – days in a year: it may seem to be a large amount, but when it comes to planning your wedding, you’ll quickly realize just how limiting that number can be. Chances are, a scheduling conflict will arise – whether it be due to your venue, predicted weather conditions, or something more personal.

Discovering your date clashes with another event can be difficult to handle and adjust to, so we’ve devised some helpful hints to assist you in determining whether or not a conflict is worth moving your wedding date. 

MOVE Your Date If:

-  It falls on someone else’s predetermined wedding day. This should be a no-brainer, but don’t plan your nuptials for the same day as a friend or family member’s big day. If you were unaware of the conflict when you booked the date, but discover that your cousin selected the date months before you, it is courtesy that you give up the day and choose another time. If you have more than a few guests that need to travel to both events, it would be smart to land on a date at least a few months before or after the date.

-  It’s on a religious holiday that many guests will observe. If a large number of guests – or a few very important guests such as bridal party members – observe a holiday that you and your beloved do not, you should consider switching your date. Many will want to share in this day with you, but may have to decline based on their beliefs. Though it is a day to celebrate your love, being conscious and courteous of others’ traditions is important, and in the end, you’ll be surrounded by more support!

-  It is around the time someone important to you will be giving birth. If your sister, close friend, or cousin (or the wife/girlfriend of a loved one) is set to give birth around the same time as the wedding, it may not be worth the risk. In some cases, you may find out too late to re-book – in which case, you will just hope the little one decides to wait until after you tie the knot – but if the date can be moved and the person is very significant to you or your future spouse, you’d rather have them book a babysitter than miss your big day.

-  It’s during a close family member or friend’s graduation. Hopefully, high school and college students will be aware of their graduation date – or, at least, an idea of when the weekend might be. If your brother is getting his degree in early June, consider having a late June or July wedding. Competing celebrations within a family or a close circle of friends can be troublesome, and you want to have a chance to support the graduate without an adjacent wedding date.

KEEP your date if:

-  It’s on someone’s birthday weekend (with exceptions). Past a certain age, birthdays stop becoming a big deal. There is a good chance your big day could fall on the same day or weekend as a guests’ birthday, but this is no reason to move your plans around. There are, of course, two exceptions to this rule: a milestone birthday of someone close to you, or an important attendee that has had big plans for this birthday in the works since before you selected the date.

-  It falls on the day or weekend of a major sporting event. If you and your beloved are die-hard football fans, you’re not going to book your event in early February – whether or not you want a Sunday wedding. However, if you’re not dedicated to watching the Super Bowl and you happen to select that weekend, it isn’t worth the move. Most major sports games don’t take place on Fridays or Saturdays, so while your nuptials may foil some pre-parties, your revelers will be able to cope.

-  It’s during an unpredictable weather season. If you’ve planned your ceremony in a location with rapid climate and weather changes, chances are, you were aware of that going in. If it is unclear if it will be 75 and sunny or 45 and rainy, consider the option of an indoor reception or a tented area outside. Unless you’re dealing with violent storms or natural disasters, a little rain on your wedding day shouldn’t be hard to work with: plus, they say it’s good luck!

-  A guest makes a specific request that you move it. “That’s the anniversary of my hamster’s passing,” “But my girlfriend and I will have been together for a year and three months on that day,” and “It’s really more convenient for my family to come in the weekend after,” are not mountain-movers. Specific requests to tailor your wedding to the likings of attendees shouldn’t be considered: you’ve picked this day because it was significant in some way or another to you (or to your venue’s schedule), and your guests need to respect that.

To discover more advice on wedding dates and seasons, check out our blog on avoiding winter wedding issues, reasons why you should have your wedding on New Year's Eve, and festive floral bouquets for you fall nuptials!

Opening photo by KingenSmith

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