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How to Handle Wedding-Day Disappointment

Moving on from a big day that wasn't so perfect.

There are many legitimate reasons to feel disappointed, and those emotions are valid. However, it’s important to move on, and embrace your new married life.

Relationship Advice
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Photo: Joshua Behan

Society puts a lot of pressure, especially on women, on the idea of your wedding being the best day of your life. After all, there is an entire industry based on planning for the perfect day, and brides (as well as grooms) spend enormous amounts of time and money executing their vision.

how to handle a disappointing wedding day
Photo by Coco Tran 

Now, this is all well and good when a couple ends up with a magical wedding that they can fondly look back on for the rest of their lives, but it also makes a disappointing experience a much harder pill to swallow. If your wedding wasn’t everything you dreamed it would be, you may be feeling guilt for not loving something that you and your family worked so hard on, perhaps fearing that people will think you are ungrateful. But there are many legitimate reasons to feel disappointed, and those emotions are valid. However, it’s important to move on, and embrace your new married life.

Here are some tips for how to do that: 

- Feel your emtoions. Don’t try to repress your feelings and attempt to get past them right away; feel free to have a good, cathartic cry about your sadness.

- Open communication. Talk with your spouse and be honest about your feelings. Don’t allow a bad wedding to poison a good marriage.
- Reflect on the good. Remember the parts of the day that went right, and focus your energy on those aspects instead. Positive thinking can really help!
- Rewrite history. Often, disappointing weddings are about being talked into a bigger or smaller event than you wanted. If that’s the case, consider having a private vow renewal or a big party on your first anniversary.
- Speak out. If a vendor performed their job poorly, make sure they know. Write a firm letter detailing how they failed you. Not only will this give you an opportunity to vent, but if you get any of the money back, you can treat yourself to feel better. 

Enjoyed your wedding, but still feeling sad? Learn how to deal with the post-wedding depression here. Embrace newlywed life by discovering what not to do in the first year of marriage.