As part of the promotion for her bestselling memoir, Becoming, former First Lady Michelle Obama appeared on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon this week. Those who have already read the book know she has shared that she and her husband, former President Barack Obama have attended marriage counseling together. This was a relatable statement for the many people who look up to the marriage between the Obamas.
During her interview with Jimmy Fallon, she elaborated a bit on their marriage counseling sessions, admitting that it was her idea. “I was like, ‘I’m perfect,’” she said, revealing she figured the counselor would be completely on her side and have the former president be the one that made changes. However, that was not the case! She realized through their sessions that she couldn’t hold her husband as the only person responsible for her own happiness. Indeed, while couples should lean on each other, it is important to create happiness in your individual lives as well. Not only should your relationship be a priority, but you should be your own priority as well.
She also addresses the danger of viewing celebrity and high-profile couples as being “#relationshipgoals” because marriage takes work no matter who you are. “If you’re married for 50 years and 10 of them are horrible, you’re doing really good!” she asserts. While there are certainly times where leaving a marriage is necessary, she advises young couples not to quit the moment things get tough. Those times are when marriage counseling is a great tool, although plenty of people also recommend it as a preventive measure.
Watch the whole interview in the video below!
For more advice, learn what mistakes you should avoid in the first year of marriage and how to handle uncomfortable conversations at the holiday dinner table.