If you are getting married, there is a pretty strong chance that you have been in a wedding yourself. Therefore you have some idea of how your bridesmaids should or should not be treated, because the memories are still fairly fresh in your mind. However, fewer people are ever flower girls than they are bridesmaids, and if you were a flower girl, it was probably at least 20 years ago! Thus, understandably, you might be a little fuzzier on the proper etiquette when it comes to your littlest members of the wedding party.
Photo by Jay Lawrence Goldman Photography
That’s where we come in, here to answer all your flower girl questions before you can even ask. Most of these tips will apply to the ring bearer as well, but for ease of read, we will stick to referring to the flower girl.
- Traditionally, the flower girl’s parents will pay for the dress. It is polite to provide a few options or let them choose for themselves if they are paying. If there’s something very specific you want the child to wear, it’s proper to offer to pay. As always, it’s nice to offer to pay in any circumstance.
- Invite her to the bridal shower so she’ll be more familiar with the bridesmaids, and give her a little job to do to hold her attention. For example, if you're following the tradition of the rehearsal bouquet, she can collect the bows and ribbons.
- Help out her parents by meeting with the little girl to practice her walk, which will also allow for some extra bonding time.
- It's up to you whether to invite the flower girl and her family to the rehearsal dinner, but make sure it doesn't go too late so she can be well-rested! If her parents are in the wedding party or would otherwise be invited to the rehearsal dinner, the flower girl should be included.
- After getting ready, allow the flower girl to spend time with you and the bridal party. It will both increase her comfort level and make her feel like her role is just as important.
- Particularly with younger flower girls, have them sit with family instead of standing with the bridal party after her walk down the aisle. It will be less noticeable if she’s fidgety throughout the ceremony.
- If one of the parents isn’t also part of the wedding party, have them around to supervise during photos.
- In the case of a head table, have children sit with their family instead, unless both parents would be at the head table regardless.
- You should get the flower girl a small gift, like you would a bridesmaid. Just be sure that it is age appropriate.
- If you are having a no-kids reception, those in the wedding party should still be invited.
Discover unique duties to give your flower girl on the wedding day, browse colorful alternatives to all-white flower girl dresses, and take a look at playful flower crown accessories. For more wedding inspiration for the littlest members of your bridal party, view photos of flower girls and ring bearers in real weddings!