Lately it seems there’s always another video that’s gone viral of a man proposing to his girlfriend – usually a bridesmaid – at the wedding of a friend or family member. The comment sections are often filled with people proclaiming such a move is selfish, as well as others who say that of course they would be happy to see their friends get engaged at their wedding. This can be confusing information for those who plan to pop the question soon, but there are several aspects to keep in mind.
First, it is completely unacceptable, without exception, to propose at someone’s wedding without getting permission from the couple getting married. No matter how swept up in the moment you are, save it for later. The only time it is okay to ask someone to marry you while attending a wedding is if you have permission from the both the future newlyweds. However, please keep in mind that when you ask this favor, they may feel like they are in a position where they can’t say no. If you tell the couple you are planning to propose to your beloved, and they make the suggestion that you do so at their reception, then you know for sure that you have the green light.
That said, you may want to keep in mind the fact that other guests will likely not know the back story and look down their noses at you. If you are not plagued with caring about what other people think, then it should not be a problem, but it is something to consider. There is also the fact that your sweetheart won’t know that this gesture was approved by the couple of honor. Make sure to find a way to communicate this – in your pre-proposal speech, if possible.
If you are a bride and someone requests to pop the question at your nuptials, do not feel pressured to acquiesce if you don’t like the idea. It’s possible the person in question will accuse you of being selfish or a “bridezilla,” but it’s perfectly reasonable to want one day to be focused on you and your love. If you’re feeling uneasy about a proposal during the wedding itself, you can always recommend the morning-after brunch for the proposal.
Opening photo by TimWill Photography