If your significant other has incredibly close relationships with their friends and family – and you’d like to involve them in the proposal in some way – read these tips!
So, you’ve made the decision to propose to your sweetheart – what an exciting time! While you may be stressing out over the ring, you’re likely also considering the all-important “how?” question. If you elect to go down the “surprise” route for your proposal, as opposed to simply discussing it and becoming engaged in the way that some people are, there are plenty of options open and ideas for proposing. You know your sweetheart well, so hopefully, you’ll be able to make the choice between a public and private proposal with relative ease. Once that has been locked in, it’s time to plan the logistics.
Choosing to make the experience something in which only the two of you share is a sweet and intimate option that will work for any couple. However, if your significant other has incredibly close relationships with their friends and you’d like to involve them in some way. For ideas on how to propose with friends and family, see below:
Of course, we don’t mean you should actually crash their hangout by bursting through the crowd to get down on one knee. This option is great for both outings and evenings in, such as an at-home movie or game night. The most important aspect of this route for popping the question: make your pending marriage proposal known to your beloved's group beforehand. In fact, this option works best for those who are also close with the friends of their partner. Get together with your sweetie’s friends and family and reveal your intentions, then work with them to create this "event" as a guise for a marriage proposal. Stick with simplicity: you don’t want the group to have to spend extra money or take a large chunk of time out of their schedules for you to pop the question.
If everyone is 100% on board, chances are, they can design an attractive activity that will sound fun and unsuspicious to your beloved. Then, when you show up at the venue or ring the doorbell for the proposal, your beloved is surprised and surrounded by their closest loved ones to share in the moment. Note: make sure you have a plan for after the question is popped. Do you both stay with the friends and family to celebrate? Do you time it so that it’s at the end of the event and everyone can disperse? Things can get awkward if you don’t plan ahead!
If your significant other has a close pal (or pals) that is particularly gifted in the art of photography – and/or is willing to hide for a short period of time – perhaps you could ask them to snap some pictures of your proposal from afar. This works best with public – but still intimate – proposals, such as during a hike or a walk on the beach or your special place. Important: keep comfort in mind! If the friend agrees, be sure to travel to the proposal site with them beforehand to pick out the best spot for the proposal: a good view and a comfortable seat are musts. If your future fiancée is more private, make sure there won't be too many people around at the time you plan to ask her to spend the rest of their life with you.
When the day comes, communicate with the friend frequently – ask them to arrive with enough time to prepare before your beloved gets there, but not too early! You don’t want them waiting for a prolonged period of time. Following the proposal, signal for the pal(s) to come out and greet you – possibly even with the photos in hand!
This is similar to the previous option, but with no expectations of professional photos. We’ve often seen this implemented for those who have friends and family who live a great distance away: if you have the means to fly them out to you, offer to do so as an added surprise for your sweetie – especially if you know that's important to them. As before, you can have the group hide somewhere you plan to propose and then reveal them after you’ve asked that important question, or you could have the group meet somewhere else – a home, favorite restaurant, bar, etc. – at which you and your spouse-to-be can travel to after the proposal to join as a special surprise. What a fun, miniature engagement celebration!
More and more, we’re seeing incredibly elaborate proposals that involve videos, clues, notes, etc. If you desire to plan a grand gesture in this way, you can ask your beloved’s friends to help with the logistics along the way. Many have requested that pals deliver hints during a scavenger hunt proposal or act as a guide for the blindfolded future fiancé(e). Since these are often complex operations, it is of the upmost importance that, when you ask the friends, you’re clear about what you’d like and what their task will entail for your proposal idea. Don’t make any definitive plans before you’re sure everyone is ready and willing to participate!
It can be a tricky thing to pull off, but in the end, incorporating your sweetheart’s friends and family is a beautiful gesture and a fantastic way to start out an engagement.
Read up on some of our favorite proposal stories from real couples and discover how you should announce your engagement.