What You Shouldn't Do When Writing Your Vows

Save your ceremony by avoiding these errors.

What You Shouldn't Do When Writing Your Vows

Ceremony & Traditions
Photo: Arden Photography

what you shouldn't do when writing your own vows

Writing your own marriage vows is an increasingly common choice, especially for couples whose ceremonies are not tied to any specific religious sect. However, unless you are a professional or naturally gifted writer, the idea of writing something meaningful and saying it in front of a crowd can be intimidating. This is a situation where it might be better to play it safe. While it’s important that your vows are from the heart, you should also feel comfortable saying them in public. To avoid any major faux pas, sometimes it is more helpful to know what not to do, instead of trying to learn what you should do. Below are mistakes to avoid when writing your own wedding vows. 

- Trying too hard. It’s understandable to want your vows to sound unique, as everyone’s love is different, but avoiding any classic sort of statements can lead to a declaration that sounds overly contrived or awkward. In this case, it’s better to be forgettable than remembered in a bad way.

- Revealing too much. Though trying to keep the spark alive in the bedroom is a perfectly reasonable goal for a marriage, remember there will be friends and family of all ages in the crowd. Anything that will make your guests – or worse, your sweetheart – uncomfortable should not be included. 

- Writing the wrong length. While you and your beloved may choose to keep your vows secret from one another, you’ll want to have some guidelines for you both to follow, especially regarding how much to write. It can be very awkward if one person speaks for 10 minutes while the other only talks for one. Keep in mind that neither of you should make your vows too long – they should be no longer than you’d like a wedding toast to be. 

- Procrastinating. This is not a task to leave until the last minute. Make a goal to have them completed a month before the wedding, that way you at least have a couple weeks of buffer time if you still put it off. Once they are written, practice reading your vows out loud. You don’t need to memorize them, but it helps to be comfortable with the words.

Learn how to officiate a loved one's wedding and what you may not want included in your ceremony

Opening photo by Arden Photography