How to Include Your Future Mother-in-Law in the Planning

Don't forget that the wedding is important to her too!

11 ways to help your future mother-in-law feel included in the wedding

When a wedding day is frequently referred to as being “all about the bride,” the mother of the bride tends to get more than her fair share of attention and duties during the planning process. The mother of the groom can tend to feel a little left out, especially if her son isn’t particularly keen on being involved in the decision-making. But his parents are excited too – even more so if the groom is their first-born child or they don’t have any daughters. Considering the reputation in-laws have, being considerate while planning your nuptials can go a long way towards a smoother relationship in the future. Of course, you also don’t want to give away all control of your wedding, so here are 11 tips on how to involve your future mother-in-law in the planning process.  

- See what aspect she’s most interested in: If she loves music, have her help pick a band or DJ. If she loves sweets, bring her along to the cake tasting.
- If you and your future spouse are from different cultural backgrounds, reach out to your partner’s mother to learn about their traditions and find out how to include them in the big day.
- Ask her advice about the registry, such as what brands or retailers she recommends. Just make sure the style is still to your taste or resentment might grow.
- Help her shop for a mother-of-the-groom dress.
- If the groom’s parents are throwing the rehearsal dinner, let her plan it (if she wants to). You get one day, and that’s the wedding.
- Include her in the getting-ready process by treating her to hair and makeup.
- Make sure your fiancé asks his parents their opinion on things such as his attire or ring.
- If she asks if she can help, say yes. Even if you think you can do it all yourself, or if you don’t want to be a burden, she might feel you’re pushing her away. Helping with favors, welcome baskets, or stuffing envelopes are all activities she could contribute to.
- Make sure she’s on the guest list for the bridal shower!
- If you want to keep your shopping trip for your dress intimate, perhaps extend an invitation to one of your fittings so your future mother-in-law can get a sneak peek of your gown.
- Encourage your fiancé to have a mother-son dance so she’ll get a moment in the spotlight.

Learn how to bond with your mother-in-law and discover what the groom should take charge of during wedding planning.

Opening photo by KT Merry Photography; Bridal Salon: Kleinfeld Bridal; Consulting by Posh Parties; Venue: The Breakers

Authored by: Emily Lasnier